Consumption to Stewardship

This isn't an easy post to write because as I've been developing more content for this blog and for my Instagram account, I've actually grown a little weary of what book consumption looks like. While I definitely enjoy reading and have a heart for sharing Christian books and promoting Christian authors, I'm reminded that it can quickly become a rat race for the next best thing, or the latest and greatest amongst Bookstagrammers. I'm not trying to be morose or anything, but I am evaluating my place in all of it.

I think what's making my heart change a little bit is that in trying to point to the amazing Christian content out there, I'm contributing to a system where the basic premise is how much we can consume. I stopped by the local Christian bookstore as they had a sale a while back, but after holding a few books that I was thinking of getting and then feeling convicted that I had so many at home to read, I put them back. I rarely leave bookstores without making a purchase and it's an activity I look forward to when travelling, but the thought came into my head, "When does it all end?" Does it end when I've read every last book on my shelves? Does it end when some authors choose to retire from writing and so I can no longer purchase their books? Does it end when I can no longer read? None of these thoughts were a reflection on the bookstore, but rather a prompting from the Holy Spirit that maybe I should heed the role that books have in my life, particularly after I already found some Christian books on a recent vacation that I took.

Honestly, I was a little dismayed at myself because I saw how ingrained it was in me to constantly buy more books, to the point where I may have more of a collection than a library. I alluded to this when I wrote about maximalism a few months ago, but I think this feeling extends beyond the physical books I have in front of me (and digital too). While I could definitely stand to curate my books, I also think about how it's unhealthy for me to keep consuming at the expense of other things. Books take time, and they take time away from other activities. Writing about them takes further time. At the end of the day, I have more books at home and on Kindle than I'll ever be able to read in my lifetime. With that being the case, how can I better steward my time so that I can glorify God in all things and not just in reading?

Thinking about this topic made me recall "Christ in Me," a song from Jeremy Camp which begins with the following verse:

"In this obsession with the things
This world says make us happy
Can't see the slaves we are
In all the searching all the grasping
Like we deserve much more
Than all these blessing[s] we're holding"

The song continues with asking God to empty us so that only Christ is left, and I find that to be the most encouraging and powerful thing we can do when we let things master us. I don't want to think that reading has mastered me, but it's certainly a warning because I can see how all-consuming this lifestyle can be. I find it ironic that when I worked in a public library, one of the arguments I heard from random strangers was that people no longer read books. However, I've noticed since the pandemic that there has been a resurgence of book-related content online, which I thought was encouraging at first, but also has a dark side. What are some of the darker things I've seen? Prepare yourself for mini essays below!

• Consumerism in full blast. Like other readers, I have my fair share of accessories and fun things around the home that allude to my love of books. They haven't taken over—I only have some book-related apparel—but I can see how many items are out there and that keep coming. I'm more guilty than most of going down some shopping rabbit holes, but really, if my identity is in Christ and not just in being a reader, is there a need to have that on full display? As my husband continually reminds me, the books do enough speaking for themselves (although he has fondly given me some fun book-themed items over the years). As a funny anecdote, I did have enough self-control earlier in the year to not purchase Jane Austen-themed socks... especially considering I already have library-themed socks (don't mind me; I'm just poking fun at myself here).
  
• The pressure to perform. Reading is typically a solitary activity, which I enjoy as it balances out my life with all the social tasks I engage in, but it feels like there is a constant pressure to read more, to produce more content, to buy more books, and to start the cycle over again. I'm not a speed reader and though I likely read more books than the average person, there are countless others who can devour more books than me in the same amount of time. I like to think that I still have a full life, but the risk is that in an effort to write more reviews and share more information, I take time away from being with others to devote to something that keeps me alone. I don't want this pressure to affect how I view myself, but I suppose that was the gamble I took when I went back on social media (no wonder mental health is so easily affected on there!).
• Aesthetics. I've come across some interesting tips on how to create the best Instagram profile there is. I'm pretty upfront that for me, I wanted to start with a blog as the amount of writing I do isn't conducive for a photo and video-driven platform. At the same time, I'm grateful to have an Instagram account as I've been able to connect with some great like-minded folks there. However, social media management is not something I will ever be personally passionate about. I'm curious about it as a form of skill development and enjoy playing around on it to discover its functionality, but some of the tips are really overboard in my opinion. I've seen plenty of resources that speak to how many props you should buy, where to find them, and how to style them so that you always look like you're in a garden or conservatory, and it's a bit much for me. I love the work that goes into it for other people, but it's a huge expense to have the "right" aesthetic just to gain followers. I've kept to simplicity and to using what I have, but there is the temptation to get more and to look better.
• Connections with the New Age. This is something that has been bothering me for years and it seems to be getting progressively worse. Reader culture now has a lot of undertones from a dark form of spirituality. While it's not new that secular bookstores are carrying Wiccan items, there are entire shelves or sections carrying these products now as the Christian and other world religions sections seem to shrink. It's also becoming prevalent online that Bookstagrammers are posting reading-themed tarot cards and accessories and so forth. I'm sad that more and more accounts, especially those themed around dark academia, are being drawn to these practices and promoting a lot of these ideologies. I also see more Christians reading books having to do with witches, spells, and hauntings, which have usually been packaged as romance. I do read secular fiction, but this is one road I am not comfortable going down; if a book starts to reference dark powers, I will not continue it. I know Christians have different convictions on this, but partaking in books and a reading culture that espouses New Age or Wiccan teachings is a dangerous and slippery road to go down.
• Overvaluing opinions. As I post reviews, I recognize that I am only one voice and not at all a significant one. Even as I write these little—or not so little—musings on Mondays, my opinions are more of a way to get the thoughts in my head out. I find it to be a form of catharsis and less a form of persuasion. If my words are edifying and beneficial to others, I would count that a blessing, but I also know that I have an extremely limited audience. While I appreciate hearing from discerning voices out there, I am also mindful not to put too much stock into any one reviewer. After all, book reviews are subjective and dependent on the reviewer's worldview.

At the end of the day, I want to move from consumerism toward stewardship where I'm cultivating my time and resources well. When it comes to getting books, I am seeing the need to slow down. When it comes to reading, I am seeing the need to have a life outside of it. When it comes to producing content, I am seeing the need for better rather than more. I don't know what that will fully mean just yet, but I will take the time to see how it affects what I write and share down the road. I want this passion project to last and at the same time, mean something. If I become too devoted to reading, that will strip the purpose of this blog and my social media. If I can stop being a mere consumer and instead be a contributor, that would make a difference to me. After all, as Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 12:11-14:

The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one shepherd. Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them.

Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.

Now all has been heard;
    here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
    for this is the duty of all mankind.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
    including every hidden thing,
    whether it is good or evil.