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Fallen

fallen tree on hill against blue sky

This is a post that I wish I didn't have to write.

Please understand that I recognize that we are all fallen; therefore, everything that we create is marred, imperfect, and tainted due to sin. What I'm exploring is what happens when there are authors or other creators who have acted in a way that harms others and there is little-to-no news of repentance or reparations being made.

I'm not writing anything investigative as many skilled and brilliant Christians are already doing so. I'm more writing as a bystander who is grieved at some of the news that has come up and attempting to process it all.

The first news that really impacted me was learning about the passing of Jennifer Lyell, former Lifeway Vice President, whom headlines have also called a Southern Baptist Convention abuse survivor. This hit close to home for a multitude of reasons even though prior to yesterday, I hadn't heard of her story. One of the reasons it affected me was because the professor who was named as her sexual abuser , M. David Sills, wrote a book called The Missionary Call, which was pivotal to me at a time when I was working in missions. I heartily endorsed it and recommended it to others who were also discerning whether they should go into missions back in the late aughts.

Looking back at the timeline of the allegations, I was horrified to discover that this book was written while Jennifer Lyell was victimized by the author. While the content of the book may have been useful, today, in good faith, I cannot recommend it, nor would I want to keep the book when it reminds me of how another woman's life was destroyed. Since I keep my books in pristine condition, it's always been easy for me to pass things along to my church or to friends; however, what do Christians do when they have books who turn out to be written by those accused of sexual abuse? When news came out about Bill Hybels, Ravi Zacharias, and Micah Wilder, it was easy enough for me to donate their books, but now I'm not so sure that I want others to be exposed to these authors.

Another reason my heart was so heavy about Jennifer's death is because I'm closely connected to a ministry that works with those who have suffered church and spiritual abuse, and Jennifer actually looks like a dear friend of mine who suffered deep and traumatic abuse from a Christian organization. Seeing her image broke me further after reading about the horrific things that this woman of God had to endure, and so my heart continues to go out to those who are affected by systems and structures beyond their control where there can be almost no accountability for the perpetrator. I'm gutted that as the SBC is gathering this week for their annual meeting that the end result may be that there still aren't enough reforms that will take place to protect other women.

Finally, this news had me thinking about the Canadian denomination that is closely related to the SBC and how being affiliated to the largest Protestant denomination in the United States can also have its pitfalls. When a denomination becomes that large, I can see why it's easier and more "necessary" to protect the institution rather than the people.

Somewhat connected to this is that one of the theological issues I keep wrestling with is the subject of women pastors and how women are treated in ministry. Having attended churches for most of my life where it was not a concern over whether a woman could be a pastor, it's something that in recent years, I've had to keep thinking through because I'm now attending a church where women are prohibited from this activity.

I won't go into some of the research I've done on what the Bible says about women in ministry leadership as that's an aside, but my observation has been that the people most staunchly against women serving this way in the church can sometimes be the ones that end up treating women as second class citizens the most. When I think about how countercultural Jesus was in how He elevated women, I feel like it's a reversion back to Pharisaical law to limit women from their calling, simply on account of not being born a man. Again, that's a topic for another day, but this is something that has me thinking about the implications for the Canadian denomination that's the equivalent of the SBC here, given that there are many similar theological stances and practices.

The second piece of news impacting my thoughts this week on those who have fallen has been the controversy around the Newsboys. I was aware of the allegations that came out earlier this year and the subsequent social media video that was deleted, and wondered when the truth would come out after such an abrupt departure of their lead singer. When subsequent news arose about how Faith LIVE, a Canadian tour promoter, cancelled the Newsboys tour, I had a suspicion that more would be uncovered in the days to come, especially after it got picked up by The Roys Report (as an aside, it was quite interesting to see how the Newsboys responded with their own rebuttal to a woman). Lo and behold, last Wednesday evening, The Roys Report broke an exclusive story that involved two and a half years of investigation, outlining the sexual sins of Michael Tait from Newsboys and dc Talk.

Although I grew up with the music of dc Talk and was/is an ardent fan of it, I won't get into my reactions on that, as I feel like the truth is still unfolding and my opinions won't contribute anything different than what has already been expressed. It's also not as personal to me as I don't have any affiliation with the music world. However, I've come to realize a few things as a result of both news coming out around each other, though they're wholly unconnected.

  • First and foremost, no one should ever be elevated to a pedestal. That throne alone belongs to God.
  • Even if we exercise as much discernment as possible, there is always the possibility that the author or creator of media that we enjoy consuming may have hidden things in their life. This is true for anybody, and it's a sobering reminder that we need Jesus as our Saviour.
  • I can become disillusioned by following all of the cases of what's happening to people where they have or are actively sinning against others, so it's better to focus on my own walk with God and to pray for others where I can.
  • I have to hold Christian books loosely. Although I've written before that authors can easily get cancelled (whether rightly or wrongly), there are certainly cases where it's warranted as they have committed grievous sins and even crimes against others. As much as I love promoting authors, I have to remember that outside of the Bible, everything written is fallible.
  • It's a fine balance between not becoming fixated on news like this and going down a rabbit trail while still respecting the victims involved and not brushing off their stories. The temptation can be that relaying this news isn't helpful and therefore we shouldn't engage with it, but I see it as being responsible and not ignoring what has taken place.
  • My bookshelves do and don't represent me. One of the things I remember studying in seminary when I took a course on higher education was St. Augustine's quote of "all truth is God's truth." I'm reminded that truth belongs to God and that the books of the Bible involved and were written by fallen people, yet He still uses the Bible to bring about what is truth. Although I'm uncomfortable holding on to books written by those I've mentioned above, I can't deny that God still worked through their words at one point in my life.
There aren't always answers or resolutions this side of heaven as to what to do when grappling with how others are sinned against. I'm just as fallen and am terrified as to who I could be or what I could do apart from God's grace. All I can do is to hold fast to Him and to grieve with those who grieve and mourn with those who mourn. I never knew of Jennifer Lyell before this weekend, but I pray that her legacy in being a voice for Christian women will live on and that changes will happen to protect anyone else from having to suffer as she did. May her words be a poignant reminder of what's at stake.
“Eventually, I’m always convicted of the reality that my life is not my own. It was bought at an incomprehensible price,” she said in 2009 profile published by Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, where Lyell had earned a master of divinity degree. - Bob Smietana, The Roys Report

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