One thing that I have been convicted by throughout my life is that I need to be careful not to elevate reading—even reading Christian books—above my relationship with God. I confess that I will more readily dive into a book than the Bible at many times, and that this can start eroding my relationship with God. It's not that I perceive Him as being legalistic and counting how many times I am in His Word versus everything else I read. It's more that I want to do everything I can to guard my heart against idolatry. I believe that,
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:21
While treasure can amount to physical objects, I am realizing more and more that my time can be counted as treasure as well. Thus, I need to be even more careful that I am not consumed by all the time and attention I pay to looking up new books, reading, shopping, and of course, looking at lovely pictures of other people's home libraries (a much more recent phenomenon for me).
Although I am not sharing specific details about myself on this blog due to being an intensely private person, I will be vulnerable in sharing about my struggles and thought processes from time to time. Part of the wonder of reading is that a careful arrangement of 26 letters can bring about such a connection to others through shared emotions and stories. My hope is that other Christians can find aspects they can relate to as I convey the impact that books has had on my life. I find it fascinating that the very tool, technique, or spiritual pathway—reading—that helps me feel closest to God can be the very thing that I need to watch out for, lest it take over my life in ways that I do not want it to.
I am not a perfect reader. There have been things I have regretted reading over the years. I do not always compare what I read to Scripture and am sometimes guided by the notion of a Christian worldview as opposed to specific verses. I am also an easily misguided reader where I can get sucked into stories where upon later reflection, I realize that it was not good or unhealthy. I have aspirations of being a discerning reader, but I can succumb to what's popular out of morbid curiosity. The life of a learner can go down interesting, but not always beneficial paths. This is where I need to continually remind myself that what I read both matters and doesn't matter. This paradox keeps me on my toes as I see how what I read can have eternal impact while other materials I read will pass away with the world and not have extended meaning.
Thankfully, I can hold fast to the following truth as I engage in the pursuit of reading:
"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever." - Isaiah 40:8
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