No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice–Instead of Good–Hurts You, Your Family and Your Friends by Paul Coughlin and Jennifer D. Degler, PhD has for some reason been on my ARC list the longest, even though its message would have probably been just as beneficial for me when I first received it. Thankfully, it's never too late to review a book! The timing has also worked out that my husband is reading the male counterpart, so it's been giving us lots to discuss 😊
Many thanks to Bethany House Publishers and LibraryThing for providing a complimentary physical copy for review consideration. All opinions are my own. Book Thoughts content is also posted on LibraryThing.
Book Synopsis
A life-giving message of change for women who are tired of pleasing others and who want to move from being nice to being good.
When passivity and false niceness don't bring the abundant life Jesus promised, some Christian women try even harder to hide behind a fragile façade of pleasant perfection. Paul Coughlin and Jennifer Degler give women the empowering message that they have options far beyond simply acting nice or being mean--if they will emulate the real Jesus Christ and face their fears of conflict, rejection, and criticism. Brimming with enlightening information, thought-provoking questionnaires, real-life stories, and biblically based teaching from both the male author of the pioneering No More Christian Nice Guy and a female clinical psychologist, this book will motivate women to allow God to transform them into authentic, powerful women of loving faith.
Book Thoughts
Though this book may not apply to all Christian women, it is certainly one that grabbed my attention as I often fall into the trap of acting like the nice Christian who does not want to cause waves. Thankfully, this book emphasized how and why this behaviour can be detrimental, not only to others, but to our faith as well. It's astounding to see how easily some falsehoods can creep into our conduct, such as the myth of being nice to avoid hurting feelings or the myth of taking on so much and acting like a martyr. I appreciated that the book referenced all of the facets of Jesus, including an entire appendix that highlights the occasions in which Jesus does not come across as “nice” in the Gospels.
The call to goodness over niceness is compelling, and after reading the book, I can already think of ways in my life in which I have allowed others to mistreat me or how I have hurt others over the long term in an attempt to avoid short-term pain. With chapters ranging from childhood to marriage and relationships to work, this book moves beyond self-help by pointing to how we need to emulate the fullness of Jesus in our lives, which includes His loving side but also His firm side. There were a lot of insights that I gained in No More Christian Nice Girl, including the origins of cattiness, the feminization of the church, and the need for humility over inspiration when it comes to lasting change. Anyone wanting to step beyond a demeanour of passivity or fear will find this book to be useful toward becoming a woman of strength and a more complete picture of Christlikeness.
Book Summary
- Format of book: 📖
- Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Recommendation: 👍
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