Mortality and Reading

This is a topic that has been resonating for me over the past few days, ever since I saw James Trevino's Instagram reel about why you shouldn't finish every book you start. In it, he breaks down the math of how many books we'd be able to read in a lifetime, based on reading a set number of hours per day and the average lifespan. He then compares this number to the number of books that are available worldwide. At first glance, it made me realize that I would have a lot of unread books, no matter whether my life is short or long. There's just too many books to read.

Thinking about when my life might end led me to think about the types of books I read and how I'm currently filling my time. I don't think it's a coincidence that right after this crossed my mind, I was listening to The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis where he espouses a simple but profound line that stopped me in my tracks: "If you don't read good books, you will read bad ones." This is part of a greater sermon on Learning in War-Time, but it was such a convicting thought that it has made me reevaluate some of the things I have read.

Furthermore, over the last several weeks, I have been fairly busy despite wanting to engage in different books that have surfaced on my TBR pile. I'm not sure whether I've been in a rush or I just haven't been as careful as I have been in the past (likely both), but it has felt like my discernment has been a little out of whack. This is one of the few times where I've read three books in a row that have led to some disappointment, frustration, and even regret.

1. First, there was a Christian non-fiction book that seemed promising, but left me quite bothered by all the non-Christian content. I'll review it on this blog, but won't share it on my Instagram, as I don't want to inadvertently tag the author or further promote the title.
2. Second, there was a fiction book that I thought was by a Christian author based on other anthologies she has participated in; however, the content left me reeling in no time. I couldn't even really call the book clean fiction and instead went with describing it as closed door, although the book heavily flirted with that line. It's not that I'm enforcing any standards on what Christian authors should or shouldn't write; after all, that is part of their liberty and creativity. It's more that if I share that I will read it as part of my upcoming reads, I don't want it to look like I've endorsed a title that I would actually never recommend after being surprised by its content.
3. Third, I just completed a book where I wanted to endorse the author because they write Christian themes into their books quite unapologetically. However, the book was so strong on physical attraction and chemistry that it even crossed the lines of disregarding open communication and consent. I'm aware that authors are becoming more sensitive to consent in some contexts, yet it's almost a double-standard where consent can be over-ridden if one character seems to think that the other person will just come around (usually in the case of intimacy or other forms of personal contact). It's not only unattractive and annoying to see in secular fiction, it's something I didn't think I would encounter in Christian fiction. This lack of respect is not loving, no matter how much authors want to build up the sizzle or steam between characters. In real life, I think most people would be fuming if they were in a fight with someone else and then that person tried to kiss them or something else to bring them around, even after conveying that they did not want to be touched. I'm saddened that this might become more prevalent in Christian fiction in the name of marketing the book as having a lot of romance.

Can you tell that the last book really riled me up? 😄 Nevertheless, after feeling a little burned by these reading experiences, I'm debating how my reading should look going forward. I'm encouraged by so many Bookstagrammers that are pointing the way toward the Bible taking precedence over any books, and how we need to be more discerning.

This has me asking: If my life can be cut short at any time, do I want to spend time reading books that may or may not be all that great? If I have the option to choose good books every time as C.S. Lewis mentions, are there bad ones I can already cut out? I don't often think of the themes of mortality and reading concurrently; however, this might be helpful for me going into the new year to seek the very best. I want to become more grounded in God's Word and I want to read excellent Christian books.

With that in mind, some of the things I'm reevaluating in my reading life are:

• Whether I have a lot of time to read clean/closed door/sweet romances. I still enjoy these, but given the preference of a book that is overtly Christian over one that is moral but never references God, I would prefer the one where Jesus is named, He is working in the lives of the characters (not just brought up at mealtime prayers), and some aspect of the Gospel is clearly shared.
• Whether I should avoid going down the road of attractive book trailers that seem interesting but whose books have left me a little emptier. This isn't anything against book trailers, but I've taken a chance on some unknown-to-me authors and the results have sometimes been hit or miss. I used to do a bit more research by checking out the author's reviews, backlist, website, social media accounts, etc. but have not been as diligent as of late in the interest of trying to broaden my horizons. I don't want to remain closed to new authors, but I also have a huge list of books from tried-and-tested authors that I have yet to complete.
• Whether I even want to read some of the secular titles that have piqued my interest and seem popular, so I'm curious what it's all about. I've noticed that each time I finish one of these books, I'm left with the sense that I could have better spent my time on something more edifying. I understand that reading widely can be helpful and keeps us from only having one perspective on life. However, if I had limited time, wouldn't I rather trade that time for something I would have enjoyed so much more and become more enriched by?
• Whether I need to be quicker in stopping books that aren't going anywhere for me. I'm terrible at DNFing (did not finish) books as I want to see how the author wraps everything up, even if it's a mess at the beginning and the middle. I also hate to say this, but with some independent publishing, it's been really hard to get past typos and other grammatical errors (I do push on, though!). I've seen characters' names, appearances, occupations, and many other attributes changed throughout, but I remain engaged for the sake of the story. At some point, I think that this is exerting a lot of work on behalf of the author to try to understand the book. My perseverance isn't always rewarded with a satisfying end to the book, so perhaps I need to better learn this lesson.
• Finally, whether I am too hasty to read anything for the sake of a "free" book. Yes, I love ARCs and am thrilled when I get to read from some of my favourite authors. However, I need to say "no" more than "yes" as a free book still consumes my time and keeps me from reading the other books I might want to enjoy. This is one of the reasons I've been more reluctant to sign up for too many ARCs (that and I always want to correct the grammar, despite not being able to do so!). Going into 2024, I want to fulfill my existing commitments and pray before any new ones. That is something I haven't done and realize how remiss I've been in seeking God when it comes to reading. In a way, being recently burned is a good reminder that I don't want to waste time on bad books.

All of these experiences reminds me of what Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 12:11-12:

"The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one shepherd. Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them. Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body."

The idea of not adding to existing words of wisdom is quite interesting to me as Solomon also mentions that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Even if this is referencing the specific wisdom books in the Bible, I also sense that it would be folly for me to add more to what God has already revealed as His wisdom—especially if there is no end to making books. To that, I can attest to much study (and reading) also wearying the mind and soul! As a result of examining my own mortality, may God help me to be a better reader, and to read in the light of eternity.