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Review: No More Christian Nice Guy

No More Christian Nice Guy book cover on blue background

I've been wanting to share a review of No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice–Instead of Good–Hurts Men, Women, and Children by Paul Coughlin for quite some time after having shared a review of the female counterpart earlier this year. However, I thought it would make the most sense for my husband to share his thoughts rather than me, so I'm excited that he took the time to write out what he calls "a book report" 😄

Book Synopsis

Recovering nice guy Paul Coughlin points the way for all men who yearn to live a life of boldness and conviction--like Jesus. Using anecdotes from his own life, powerful and poignant stories, and vivid examples from our culture, Coughlin shows how men can say no to the "nice guy" syndrome and yes to a life of purpose, passion, and vitality.

In this revised and expanded edition, Coughlin adds vital insights on the changes he's seen in churches and the greater culture in the decade since No More Christian Nice Guy was first published. This radical and hopeful message elevates the true biblical model of manhood and now includes testimonials from men and women whose lives have been altered by this book. Coughlin also looks at the shifting expectations men face in relationships and in the workplace, and how younger Christians, in particular, are subject to harmful views about masculinity.

Part inspiration, part instruction, and part manifesto, this book gives men the courage to move from passivity to assertiveness.

Source: Amazon

Book Thoughts (from Mr. Christian Shelves)

I really appreciated how No More Christian Nice Guy addressed the issue of stifled masculinity within the church and how taking the principles of humility and meekness too far, combined with not dealing with past childhood trauma, can lead to men that are conflict averse and passive. The author pointed to how being a Christian Nice Guy (CNG) can bring challenges to dating or marriage, as well as the workplace, as being nice to avoid conflict won't actually prevent or solve issues—something I can see from my own past.

As Coughlin points out, "…Christian Nice Guys believe, This world is a dangerous place...and the key to making through this dangerous planet is to keep my head down to avoid attention and [shudder] conflict" (p. 112). However, the book doesn't simply define this issue or point to all the potential causes; it calls men to be assertive (as opposed to passive and/or aggressive), to speak truth, to protect their family (even physically, if called for) and ultimately, to be like Jesus in a fuller sense. Men are reminded that we "are the salt—not the sugar—of the world. Season boldly, brothers" (p. 258).

Book Summary

  • Format of book: 📖
  • Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
  • Recommendation: 👍
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