Deromanticizing Tropes

Back when I started posting book reviews, I shared the following about what I wouldn't really include:

Too many tropes. I'm undecided on how I feel about tropes, which is fine with me. I don't need to have an opinion on everything, so if I'm on the fence about tropes in the first place, I'll only add them sparingly. I recognize that they help readers quickly identify if the book contains a theme they enjoy, but too many tropes and after a while, I feel like it's a movie trailer that tells you every single element that you'll possibly encounter in the film (music? lights? car chases? guitars? ponies? We have it all!). - Review Style

I haven't deviated much from this practice as I'm much more plot-driven when it comes to picking books; however, in reading several hundreds of books since putting this out there, I've had the opportunity to refine my thinking a little bit on specific tropes. These are only my opinions as even the interpretation of tropes is subjective, so feel free to chime in with feedback.

In terms of the existence of tropes, I'm not disputing their usefulness nor do I have anything against them being used in marketing. I believe they're here to stay as they can be a good tool for readers to quickly identify preferred reading materials. Even if I only use them in a limited capacity and they don't guide my reading (you can read more about how I've been troped out), others might rely on them.

Instead, I'm sharing the tropes that I have a more difficult time with and deromanticizing them for myself, particularly in Christian fiction. It's not to say that they shouldn't be written (that's not my intention at all!), but that if they are, it should be done well in regards to the story. Though I've hinted at some of these tropes in various places, I thought I'd finally list them together.

• Second chance romance. I don't have anything against second chance romances, per se, but it depends on how the romance is carried out. Was there a misunderstanding in the past with an opportunity to clear it up in the future? Have the characters learnt from this experience? And, more importantly to me, have other people entered the picture where it is now problematic to revive an old romance? Unfortunately, it's not always as glamorous as the books can make it out to be, especially if other people are in the scene. I am aware of real life examples where Christians have pursued this to the point of adultery and death, so I cringe when current relationships might be brushed aside for the romanticism of what might have been.
• Grumpy and sunshine. I get that toxic positivity is harmful, but has anyone considered how challenging it can be to be around someone who is perpetually down (and this is not due to illness, but rather attitude)? Someone who puts things down or other people down on a constant basis, or who refuses to communicate so that they have some sort of gruff persona is not generally a pleasant person to be around. Though not limited to male main characters, I feel like it would sap the joy out of life if a romantic interest can't exhibit the fruits of the Spirit like joy, kindness, or goodness. I'm also curious when we started viewing ongoing grumpiness or surliness as being attractive when it's a leap for me to believe that someone with this demeanour can exhibit sacrificial or life-giving love.
• Marriage of convenience and/or fake dating. Most of the books I read are written with this trope and a lot of them are well done, so I can understand its appeal. Where I still struggle is the part around deception and having to keep up a ruse around others. Some books have it where the family and friends may be in on it with the couple, but others have it where everyone needs to be deceived. I recognize that these two tropes can be quite separate from each other where relationships of convenience don't always have to involve faking it, but for the purposes of a relationship not developing organically and requiring an appearance of more intimacy than exists, I'm grouping them together.
• Love triangle. This is a hard one because the line is so razor-thin as to what can get messy between people and potentially cross over into sin. A few authors can handle the complexity and I applaud them for it, but I've also encountered some where the line has fully crossed into infidelity (see example here). I feel like Hallmark has romanticized this particular trope to create stark contrasts between characters, yet the risk is that we can easily forget that the person who isn't quite right for someone is still a person. They aren't meant to be a placeholder or a foil, and in real life, no one would want to be in that place if things don't end well and they end up being dumped, duped, or worse.
• One bed. I've addressed this before and don't need to go into extensive detail. Simply put, where there's a will, there's a way to avoid this.

I feel like I could go on, but to be honest, any trope can be written well and any trope can be written poorly. I don't avoid books simply based on tropes, so this is also a generalization of my first reactions. It's more that when something is heavily promoted a certain way, it makes me wonder if the story is playing to the trope or if the story can exist apart from them. It can certainly feel reductionist to label a male main character as grumpy and call it a day, especially when grumpy could entail everything from not being a morning person to someone who is snarkier or ruder than readers may be comfortable with.

It's a good reminder to me to not romanticize concepts or characters because there can be too much of an appealing plotline, leading to its darker side (borrowing the phrase from Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership). In taking a step back from reading these books, I can see how easy it is to admire these scenarios when they work out. Yet, at the end of the day, I'm grateful that our relationships and stories are so much more than these catchy taglines—especially when God is at work in how these stories turn out.