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The Illusion of Balance

woman wearing ripped jeans and black and white sneakers balancing her feet on uneven rocky path beside a patch of grass

After a brief time away from posting content, I've come to the conclusion that I am terrible at having work/life balance. I like to think that I can manage all of my responsibilities by being organized, but I'm realizing that organization can only get me so far. I don't share this to generate any "woe is me" sentiments as I am wholly responsible for taking on many commitments; it's more that as much as I wish there were more hours in the day, there just aren't and I'm only fooling myself if I think I can juggle it all — especially in my own strength.

A challenging thing for me to face right now is deciding what in my life needs to go. I don't have a sense that I'm to back away from sharing reviews or engaging with other readers and authors, so I've really been puzzling over how I can get more time back to do the things I truly enjoy, which has most definitely been reading and blogging. Though I don't share too many details online, my professional life is more than overflowing and my volunteer work could use some culling. Unfortunately, I fear that some of the boards and committees I sit on have also suffered from me not being able to give everything the time it deserves.

I don't have the answers yet, but I am trusting that God will show me where I can step down from things so that I can enter a season of rest and dependence on Him. One of the things I've longed to do has been to invest in relationships, both in-person and online, which I feel I've been remiss in since my focus has largely been consumed by tasks instead of people. All this to say that I really do miss getting to share content where I then get to interact with others. However, working full days and evenings has taken a toll on me, which is a far cry from when I first started blogging last summer and my schedule was much more open, allowing me to meet so many amazing people online.

I remain hopeful, and truly am grateful for all of the blessings that God has poured out on me in being able to work and serve. As I attempt to be more intentional in stewarding my time, my prayer is also that I can be more effective where God has placed me. Going through one of the most full seasons of my life so far has made me more aware of how much can be on the plates of authors as well. I am impressed at how many authors write while juggling family and work responsibilities and still press on. I have a lot to learn from them!

Though it's been a while since I've had a writing deadline, I'm glad that blogging is a different feeling altogether. I appreciate being able to pick up as if I had never left, and I love that I'm not constrained by what I share, which is why this post is a little more personal than usual. This past year has not been an example of balance to me at all, and I'm burning out the more I burn my candle at both ends. Despite that, God is faithful and He has supplied me with all that I've needed each day. It is because of His grace that I desire to share more books that speak to Him and about Him. May He grant me His strength to stay standing!

(As a side note, balance has been an illusion lately but only on a personal level for me, and not necessarily on a philosophical level. If someone else has achieved balance, that is tremendous news and I definitely aspire to make it there as well 😀)
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