Why Romance?

If you've been reading my content for a little bit, you'll realize that I really like romance novels, especially those from a Christian worldview. I admit that I don't always share this about myself with others in real life as there is the connotation that romance can be "less than" in terms of literary genres.

However, I've been wondering why that is. Is it because romance usually alludes to "light and fluffy" books that don't mean much? Or is it because romance is looked down on as unnecessary to life? Or, with the tides changing in terms of what people read on Bookstagram, do people think that romance novels equate to less than savoury reading?

I recognize that there a lot of myths to dispel, so I've been trying to think of why reading romance books is positive instead of negative. I may not widely advertise it to everyone I interact with, but I shouldn't be embarrassed about love, either. So, why do I read romance?

1. 1 John 4:19 is probably the largest reason I read romance: "We love because he first loved us." God is the author of romance, and the greatest example. I'd much rather have romance and love in my life than without. This doesn't mean I have to be married as I read plenty of romance books when I was single. It means that the notions of both don't have to be eliminated from life, regardless of what my circumstances may be.
2. Happy endings aren't just about things working out perfectly. If anything, being in a fallen world means that things will not always go well. In light of that, isn't it wonderful to have others in life whom we can be with during these difficult times? It doesn't have to be a romantic partner; loved ones—whether family and friends—can still share love and support. However, if there is a romantic partner, their presence can mean so much when life isn't easy.
3. Sometimes, the greatest misconception is that we think one single person can fulfill all of our longings and needs. This is both a downfall of romance novels and an opportunity to point toward Christ. Romance novels that show couples looking beyond themselves often offer the strongest love stories because their love isn't selfishly contained; rather, their love coupled together and looking outwardly at God and others is much more enriching and satisfying to read.
4. Our broken world has enough horrific things happening. It is nice to read about the most basic level of human interactions where there is care, kindness, and regard for others. Romance stories ultimately depict people doing good things for each other, and in wanting the best for the other person. Some of the books that twist some these things under the guise of romance still have the other person in mind somehow (and if they don't, yikes!).
5. I appreciate the stories of how people come together (the meet-cute), but also how they prevail through tough circumstances together. Lasting relationships are usually built on more than emotions, which is why I mostly read Christian romance novels as they tend to move beyond the physical and emotional to the spiritual reasons of how couples stay together.
6. It's fun! I'm not above acknowledging this. I wouldn't continue to read romance if it wasn't enjoyable and I felt like it was a worthwhile activity.
7. It opens up my eyes to different aspects of my relationships with others, including my marriage. Sometimes I am used to the familiar, and forget the wonder that comes with romance and in not taking my husband for granted. Reading stories opens me up to broad perspectives and scenarios, and ultimately, helps me appreciate my husband in different ways. This applies to friendships and other relationships as well. Seeing how characters respond to similar situations often helps me get out of my own way of doing things. It's true that being married is like someone holding up a mirror to you all day; it makes you less susceptible to your blind spots!
8. At the end of the day, there is something lovely in feeling worthy to be pursued. When I read romance novels, this element reminds me that love initiated outside of us is good and that this yearning is natural. I believe it points back to how God has created us, and why we desire to be unconditionally loved.
9. Romance books are not one-dimensional. Okay, maybe some are, but the ones I've encountered haven't been where the characters exclusively live for romantic love. I find that a good story usually has other elements that keep readers interested in the plot, so any good romance novel will have other things happening as well, whether it's other relationships, work, a crisis, a philosophical question, anything. Seeing love in the context of life without ignoring it feels more holistic and realistic to me. Unless someone has taken a vow to live without love (which is probably a trope that gets trumped anyways), it's hard to deny this aspect in life (again, love isn't limited to romantic love).
10. I could keep going but I really want to draw attention to the authors who work so hard to write engaging romances. It's not easy and Christian authors have their work cut out for them. However, I also believe that there is such opportunity to show people what Christian love looks like through these books. I read Christian romances because there are very few other places where we can find uplifting, inspirational stories about people treating others in a way that can echo into eternity. When Paul exhorts husbands to love their wives, "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" in Ephesians 5:25, this is a high calling. Christian love is meant to be sacrificial. And this is why I support Christian authors who write about relationships and marriages in this way because it's the purest love we will encounter.

At the end of the day, reading is still based on personal interests and tastes. For instance, I don't mind reading mystery and suspense, but have little interest in horror. I won't necessarily persuade anyone into reading romance if it's not their cup of tea, but I do hope that if someone likes it and feels a little awkward or sheepish about it, that these reasons might help to avoid that.

Romance might always have a stigma to it, but I don't believe that it has to be "less than." After all, "these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13:13).